It has been

far too long.

Almost a year to the day.
WOW.
Busy??  Sometimes, but not always.  I always want to blog--seems like I have plenty to say, but then something shiny flutters by and my stream of consciousness is interrupted.  Then the blogging doesn't happen.
Meh, whatevs.

A move is on the horizon, I can't believe it.  I  know it happens to a bajillion military families but I just always felt like we were going to be here and everyone else was going to move.  Dumb, right??  It's a weird feeling.  Knowing we will move, that this house we have come to love so much, will not be our home much longer.  Cray.  Suurrssslly.
I started college. AT. 32.
That deserves two "crays'.  Cray. Cray.  To say its a learning experience is A GROSS UNDERSTATEMENT.  But its good.  I should go.  I mean I want to look back and say "Yeah, I did that."  Some days I am owning school, other days, school is owning me.  

Great things are on the horizon.  I can't wait to officially share them.  It's too soon to share just yet (and no I am NOT pregnant, that ship sailed months ago), but soon I can share.

Stay up playa.

Things I never thought I would say

"...stop showing me your hiney, pull your pants up and go finish your broccoli..."

"You put that WHERE??  WHY??..."

(Trust me you don't want to know the where and the why was not a valid reason either..)

"...we don't go potty on that...that's what toilets are for..."

"...babies don't eat Legos...why...because they aren't food, that's why..."  "Oh you ate one before...greeaatt"

"It was a small Monopoly piece you swallowed right?? I'm sure it will pass through your system..."

"Nooo you call me mom, not Miss Lacy...I'm your mother.."

"I'm sure she doesn't ACTUALLY eat ants...the school has a cafeteria after all.."

"Let me smell it...I'll tell you if it's clean..enough.."

Things they don't tell you when you are holding that new cute, small bundle of awesome in the hospital bed.

The struggle is real.

This is actual life.  Things I've really said.  

Sheesh.

And my kids have a proclivity to put things in their mouths...or take their clothes off.  

That's from their fathers side.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

But they are joy.  And laughter.  And awesome.  All rolled into a tiny human.  And I've got 4.  

Mom to 4 pseudo-weirdos--I'm out.

But why...

Oh why is there always laundry??

This beast is all clean.  All. CLEAN.

Why do we wear so many pieces of clothing?

And it's been on the floor of my living room for days....

To no avail.

This is parenthood reality folks, it's large and in charge.

And clean.

And only 482,274,381,902 articles of clothing deep.

Geez, bring on the wine, or Thin Mints.

Or both.

If you never hear from me again, I am under this monster and I've died because the idea of folding one more piece of clothing has overwhelmed my existence.

Bleh, double Bleh.

Now excuse me while I swan dive into this mass of cotton/poly blends and rectify all the empty dresser drawers and closets.

Things that are lame

#1-insomnia.

Dear sleep,

Miss you.

Need you.

Please come back and see me, my personal army is running me into the ground and I fear that the threat of mutiny is a real one.  Like something out of Animal Farm--or so it feels like.

No but seriously, it's sort of like an Animal Farm around here lately.  Mud, food, slop, poop.

Same same, right??

Jet Pilot come home.

I am losing the tenuous hold at the helm of this thang we call our household.

Seriously sleep....come back.  Maybe just for a 6 hour stretch??  PULEASE.

That's all.

**big yawn**

Lace out.

My super wise wisdom stuff

That moment when you see something or someone from a waaayyy long ago past and you think….man, I am so glad I am not there anymore.
That just happened.
And for a long time I was sad or felt like I was missing out…I wasn't.
Always feeling like a "have not" and wanting to be a "have".

Then it hit me….what I have is awesome.
The family I have is awesome.
And the people who are dense enough to be my friends and put up with my incessant crying and emotions and twisted sense of humor, they are amazing.
I am a have.

I am so lucky.

And its funny, how I definitely don't want what I think I did.
I want the littles in my house to be kind and smart and gracious and level headed.
I want my Jet Pilot to learn and fly and learn more and defend and patriot-ize our lives.
I want to see the husband of my best friend come home from a long deployment and watch them run to each other and kiss and fall in love all over again in the span of .00056 seconds.
I want to plank til I faint.
I want healthy babies for the friends I know who are expecting.
I want love, and a lot of laughter.  All. The. Time.

I want late night talks and wine and giggling with my sister in law who makes me feel young again, even though I think I mostly look like an old maid. (Thanks for that, four small people whom I grew from scratch)

I want to dance to Pandora when no one is watching.  Or when everyone is watching.
Value what you have people, life is too short.


To that part of me that thought I was a have not--sister, you were so wrong.

I am a have.
In the best kind of way.
 

Sweetest things

The saying goes that with age comes wisdom. 

I feel like sometimes parenting is measured in increments of time as well.

First child.

Second child.

And if you are ambitious and not a quitter like myself...

Third child.

And finally fourth child.

I remember glimpses or flashes from my mothering as a first time parent.  

I couldn't wait for my oldest to roll over, crawl, sit up, talk, learn geometry, blah, blah, blah.  

I measured my success as her mother by the speed at which she reached her milestones.  

And I pushed her to meet them.

Now here I sit, a decade later with 4 kids and a bit more experience under my parental belt and let me tell you the game is real different on this side of the stadium.

I always compare first time parenting to puberty or junior high school--it was a good enough time going through it but you never want to do it again.

(If you don't feel like that...then well, you are awesome and I am whack.  😁)

I am better at being someone's mom the second, third and fourth time around I think.  I pushed and prodded and agonized over everything my oldest did.  Just to make sure she was tracking like all the "other" kiddos her age who's parents I knew.  

Or read about in all those parenting books.

I pushed so much I think that sometimes I didn't get to truly cherish the joy that CAME from those experiences.  

Now I am able to be a little more chill, I appreciate the teeny baby smiles and smells and toddling chunky legs.  The giggles and baby snuggles, letting me kiss their head just cuz I wanna.  I am no longer in a rush for the babies to roll over, crawl, talk, read, join a sports team, blah blah--those days will come.

All too soon, they will come.  

So now when you see me at the park or grocery store or gym or Target and my kids are losing their ever loving minds by crying, pooping, nursing, whining or chatting their face off-  it's ok, I'm ok.

I'm soaking up the experience that is my little people army.

And to all the first time parents out there-enjoy the ride.  And know I will welcome you with open arms to the "2nd time around" rodeo when the time comes.

It's nice here.

We are pretty mellow.  

We have coffee at Starbucks with other seasoned moms and let our kids act cray sometimes just cuz they wanna.  

It's strangely liberating.

Life is good. 

Biiiiii.

Heeeyyyyy

So-I've been MIA.

Things happened.  Life happened.  No excuses--just life.

Had a teeny baby 6 weeks early.  She had an extended stay in the hospital.

It was a nightmare.  I was stressed.  but she is better now and home.  

And so dang cute.

Like REALLY cute and petite and beautiful like a baby girl should be.

Her hair is light.  (Well light for my bloodline...)

She is my favorite littlest person.

My better half came home.  It was so epic and awesome and romantic and everything I ever thought it would be.  

Life is a new kind of normal around here.  There is a lot of life being lived in my crib.

It's loud.

And kinda cray.

But it's ours.

The oldest kid loves her littlest brother, she caves to his whims and comforts him all the time.  He cries for her most often because she indulges his moods and sad faces.  

The oldest son dotes on the tiny baby.  He's gentle in a way that you don't see often from him--it melts my heart.  

Lets see...what else...

Potty trained the baby dude, went on mini vacay, started school, boarded the Paleo train (again, sigh.), swim team, and now fall sports for the older two kids.  It's been a crazy 6 months since I've last blogged but I pinky promise that I will do this more frequently.

I miss it.  

I miss ya'll!