Thursday, December 5, 2013

Things that are lame


Dear sleep,
Miss you.
Need you.
Please come back and see me, my personal army is running me into the ground and I fear that the threat of mutiny is a real one.  Like something out of Animal Farm--or so it feels like.
No but seriously, it's sort of like an Animal Farm around here lately.  Mud, food, slop, poop.
Same same, right??

Jet Pilot come home.
I am losing the tenuous hold at the helm of this thang we call our household.

Seriously sleep....come back.  Maybe just for a 6 hour stretch??  PULEASE.

That's all.

**big yawn**
Lace out.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

My super wise wisdom stuff

That moment when you see something or someone from a waaayyy long ago past and you think….man, I am so glad I am not there anymore.
That just happened.
And for a long time I was sad or felt like I was missing out…I wasn't.
Always feeling like a "have not" and wanting to be a "have".

Then it hit me….what I have is awesome.
The family I have is awesome.
And the people who are dense enough to be my friends and put up with my incessant crying and emotions and twisted sense of humor, they are amazing.
I am a have.

I am so lucky.

And its funny, how I definitely don't want what I think I did.
I want the littles in my house to be kind and smart and gracious and level headed.
I want my Jet Pilot to learn and fly and learn more and defend and patriot-ize our lives.
I want to see the husband of my best friend come home from a long deployment and watch them run to each other and kiss and fall in love all over again in the span of .00056 seconds.
I want to plank til I faint.
I want healthy babies for the friends I know who are expecting.
I want love, and a lot of laughter.  All. The. Time.

I want late night talks and wine and giggling with my sister in law who makes me feel young again, even though I think I mostly look like an old maid. (Thanks for that, four small people whom I grew from scratch)

I want to dance to Pandora when no one is watching.  Or when everyone is watching.
Value what you have people, life is too short.

To that part of me that thought I was a have not--sister, you were so wrong.

I am a have.
In the best kind of way.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Sweetest things

The saying goes that with age comes wisdom. 
I feel like sometimes parenting is measured in increments of time as well.
First child.
Second child.
And if you are ambitious and not a quitter like myself...
Third child.
And finally fourth child.

I remember glimpses or flashes from my mothering as a first time parent.  
I couldn't wait for my oldest to roll over, crawl, sit up, talk, learn geometry, blah, blah, blah.  
I measured my success as her mother by the speed at which she reached her milestones.  
And I pushed her to meet them.

Now here I sit, a decade later with 4 kids and a bit more experience under my parental belt and let me tell you the game is real different on this side of the stadium.

I always compare first time parenting to puberty or junior high school--it was a good enough time going through it but you never want to do it again.
(If you don't feel like that...then well, you are awesome and I am whack.  😁)

I am better at being someone's mom the second, third and fourth time around I think.  I pushed and prodded and agonized over everything my oldest did.  Just to make sure she was tracking like all the "other" kiddos her age who's parents I knew.  
Or read about in all those parenting books.
I pushed so much I think that sometimes I didn't get to truly cherish the joy that CAME from those experiences.  

Now I am able to be a little more chill, I appreciate the teeny baby smiles and smells and toddling chunky legs.  The giggles and baby snuggles, letting me kiss their head just cuz I wanna.  I am no longer in a rush for the babies to roll over, crawl, talk, read, join a sports team, blah blah--those days will come.
All too soon, they will come.  

So now when you see me at the park or grocery store or gym or Target and my kids are losing their ever loving minds by crying, pooping, nursing, whining or chatting their face off-  it's ok, I'm ok.
I'm soaking up the experience that is my little people army.

And to all the first time parents out there-enjoy the ride.  And know I will welcome you with open arms to the "2nd time around" rodeo when the time comes.
It's nice here.
We are pretty mellow.  
We have coffee at Starbucks with other seasoned moms and let our kids act cray sometimes just cuz they wanna.  
It's strangely liberating.
Life is good. 


Saturday, August 17, 2013


So-I've been MIA.
Things happened.  Life happened.  No excuses--just life.
Had a teeny baby 6 weeks early.  She had an extended stay in the hospital.
It was a nightmare.  I was stressed.  but she is better now and home.  
And so dang cute.
Like REALLY cute and petite and beautiful like a baby girl should be.
Her hair is light.  (Well light for my bloodline...)
She is my favorite littlest person.

My better half came home.  It was so epic and awesome and romantic and everything I ever thought it would be.  
Life is a new kind of normal around here.  There is a lot of life being lived in my crib.
It's loud.
And kinda cray.
But it's ours.

The oldest kid loves her littlest brother, she caves to his whims and comforts him all the time.  He cries for her most often because she indulges his moods and sad faces.  
The oldest son dotes on the tiny baby.  He's gentle in a way that you don't see often from him--it melts my heart.  

Lets see...what else...
Potty trained the baby dude, went on mini vacay, started school, boarded the Paleo train (again, sigh.), swim team, and now fall sports for the older two kids.  It's been a crazy 6 months since I've last blogged but I pinky promise that I will do this more frequently.
I miss it.  
I miss ya'll!

Saturday, January 12, 2013


Officially.  Unofficially.
We made it to the halfway point in our deployment.   I say "OUR" like I am the one forwarded deployed to the Middle East to drive big jets.
You get the gist.

And not to sound cliché but it seems like it went by fast.
However if you ask some of my closest and best friends--they will probably tell you I moped for entirely too long, looked like crap and ate fast food way too often.
Guilty as charged.  Did that.  Owned it.  Cried A LOT of tears.  Its I roll.

I guess in hindsight it sounds like it went by fast.  I think it also helps that I am feeling AND looking WAY pregnant which to me is a better marker of the time because I know that the husband will be returning around the same time the baby is set to be arriving.

We are hopeful he will be home before the baby comes but you know how that goes--the military does things in their own time and I respect that.  Kind of.
Well, maybe not respect but I have been on the other side of the coin so I can relate.  Kind of.


I miss my husband.  He's kind of a fly guy.  Like cool, fly--not fly fly..well that kind too but you know what I mean.  Our home is definitely different without him around.  I am different.  I cry a lot.  And I pray a lot.
But there is sunshine on the horizon.

In other news, kids are great, growing and eating and growing and then eating some more.  Its so "mind bottling" to think that we will be growing this clan by +1.  Another baby.  I do love babies.  They always feel and smell great.  I wanna snuggle babies so hard.  Always.  Its like a secret addiction.
5 year old boys on the other hand--they have a musk all their own and truly its one only a mother could love- sometimes.
I would love to stay and blab more about the eleventy bajillion things that have happened since I last blogged but since 2nd trimester hit I have turned into PeePee McGee and have a bladder the size of a Lego piece.  Plus-- my sink looks like a standard scene from Hoarders with the major dish pile up.  Its like dirty dishes fornicate and birth in my sink over the span of .0068 minutes.
Sad face.
And since I haven't had the good luck to meet my fairy godmothers with the magic brooms that do dishes-responsibility falls on this guy. (Points thumbs at self)

So I guess I'm out this piece.  Like a BOSS.  Who's husband has hit the halfway point of deployment.
That just happened.