Saturday, July 17, 2010

Clyde turned 3

(Clyde's new weed eater and goggles courtesy of Aunt Linz in St.Louis)

I swore over and over I was not going to be sad. I told myself (repeatedly) I was not going to be sad or down or nostalgic on his birthday.

I want him to grow into a big, strong, healthy, happy kid, it brings me joy to think of that.
But I do love that kid as just a baby. I always have.
He pulls at my heartstrings in a way that I never imagined a person possibly could. And that says a lot.

When he gets caught getting himself into typical toddler trouble, and gets called on it he has this impossible way of MAKING his little brown eyes twinkle and then-POOF the trouble magically dissipates. (It drives Jet Pilot crazy, its totally irresistible to me)

3 years ago he came into our lives with all the flash and chaos that he still exhibits today.
He looks up his big sister.
He copies everything his dad says and does.
He loves his "glub-bees" (the kid wears gloves everywhere like he is practicing to be a MJ impersonator!) & Power Wheels Dune Buggy.
As for me, well, what can I say-
I am totally, 100% completely and irrevocably in love with him.
He melts my heart. I think he always will.

God was so generous in his planning to give me a son as bright and fun and handsome and loving as that little boy. I do not deserve a son as awesome as him but I thank Our Most High daily that I have him.

So as he is crossing the bridge from baby to toddler to little dude I want to remind myself not to be sad. I know the nursing days have gone, as have the diapers, but when that cute chunky little hand comes up to me and rubs my face and ask for some random sugar-y treat he knows I will cave to, I will take that hand and squeeze it just a little bit harder as a means of forcing myself to burn that memory and feeling into my brain. So I can have it to look back on and cherish forever.

I love you Clyde, and I am so proud of the handsome little gentleman dude you are becoming!!